A Policeman Stopped Me And

So A Lorry-load Of Tortoises Crashed Into A Train-load Of Terrapins, I Thought "that's A Turtle Disaster".

Deja Moo: The Feeling That You've Heard This Bullshit Before.

I've Been On The Whisky Diet - I've Already Lost Three Days!

I Had A Meal Last Night. I Ordered Everything In French, Surprised Everybody. It Was A Chinese Restaurant. I Said To This Chinese Waiter, 'look, This Chicken I Got Here Is Cold.' He Said, 'it Should Be, It's Been Dead Two Weeks.'

A Man Came Round In Hospital After A Serious Accident. He Shouted, "doctor, Doctor, I Can't Feel My Legs!" The Doctor Replied, "i Know You Can't, I Had To Amputate Your Arms"