I've Been On The Whisky

So I Was In Tesco's And I Saw This Man And Woman Wrapped In A Barcode. I Said "are You Two An Item?"

A Jump Lead Walks Into A Bar. The Barman Says "i'll Serve You, But Don't Start Anything."

'doc, I Can't Stop Singing The Green Green Grass Of Home. 'that Sounds Like Tom Jones Syndrome'. 'is It Common?' 'it's Not Unusual.'

A Policeman Stopped Me And Said: Would You Please Blow Into This Bag, Sir? I Said: What For, Officer? He Said: My Chips Are Too Hot.

Went To The Corner Shop - Bought 4 Corners.