Before I Met Her, I

Those Hot Pants Of Hers Were So Damned Tight, I Could Hardly Breathe.

Have You Noticed That All The People In Favor Of Birth Control Are Already Born?

The Odds Against There Being A Bomb On A Plane Are A Million To One, And Against Two Bombs A Million Times A Million To One. Next Time You Fly, Cut The Odds And Take A Bomb.

I Thought I Couldn't Afford To Take Her Out And Smoke As Well. So I Gave Up Cigarettes. Then I Took Her Out And One Day I Looked At Her And Thought: 'oh Well,' And I Went Back To Smoking Again, And That Was Better.

I'm Not Against Half Naked Girls - Not As Often As I'd Like To Be.