I Always Sit In The

I Bought Some Hp Sauce The Other Day. It's Costing Me 6p A Month For The Next 2 Years.

He Said 'i'm Going To Chop Off The Bottom Of One Of Your Trouser Legs And Put It In A Library. I Thought, "that's A Turn-up For The Books".

A Blind Bloke Walks Into A Shop With A Guide Dog. He Picks The Dog Up And Starts Swinging It Around His Head. Alarmed, A Shop Assistant Calls Out: 'can I Help, Sir?' 'no Thanks,' Says The Blind Bloke. 'just Looking.'

I Inherited A Painting And A Violin Which Turned Out To Be A Rembrandt And A Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt Made Lousy Violins And Stradivarius Was A Terrible Painter.

I Had A Ploughman's Lunch The Other Day. He Wasn't Very Happy.