I Had A Ploughman's Lunch

So I Went To The Chinese Restaurant And This Duck Came Up To Me With A Red Rose And Says "your Eyes Sparkle Like Diamonds". I Said "waiter, I Asked For A-romatic Duck".

I Had A Meal Last Night. I Ordered Everything In French, Surprised Everybody. It Was A Chinese Restaurant. I Said To This Chinese Waiter, 'look, This Chicken I Got Here Is Cold.' He Said, 'it Should Be, It's Been Dead Two Weeks.'

He Said 'i'm Going To Chop Off The Bottom Of One Of Your Trouser Legs And Put It In A Library. I Thought, "that's A Turn-up For The Books".

I Went Window Shopping Today! I Bought Four Windows.

I Always Sit In The Tail End Of A Plane, Always. You Never Hear Of An Plane Backing Into A Mountain.