I Bought An Ideal Gift

Jews Don't Drink Much Because It Interferes With Their Suffering.

One Teacher Recently Retired With A Half-million Dollars After 30 Years Of Working Hard, Caring, Dedicating Herself And Totally Immensing Herself In The Problems Of The Students. That Gave Her $50. The Rest Of The Money Came From The Death Of A Rich Uncle.

He Was Such A Bad Writer, They Revoked His Poetic License.

I Bought My Mother-in-law A Beautiful Chair For Christmas, But She Won't Let Me Plug It In.

Every Year My Boss Used To Give Me A Bottle Of Expensive Brandy Because I'd Told Him That My Doctor Suggested A Drink Once In A While. This Year My Boss Gave Me The Name Of A New Doctor.