I Bought My Son A

I Don't Date Women My Age. There Aren't Any.

In The Suburbs It's Hard To Buy Your Christmas Gifts Early In The Year. You Never Know Who Your Friends Will Be In December.

Money Can't Buy You Happiness. It Just Helps You Look For It In More Places.

The Post Office Is Very Careful Nowadays. When They Get A Package Marked "fragile," They Throw It Underhand.

You Look Like A Normal Person, If You Can Find A Normal Person Who Wants To Look Like That.