I Do Realise That When

My Dad's Dying Wish Was To Have His Family Around Him. I Can't Help Thinking He Would Have Been Better Off With More Oxygen.

But What's True About Comedians Is That We've All Got A Huge Hole In Our Personality. In A Room Of 3,000 People, We're The One Person Facing In The Opposite Direction - Yet We Have This Overwhelming Desire To Be Liked.

Viagra Has Instructions: 'keep Away From Children' - What Kind Of Man Do You Think I Am?

I May Be Middle Class, But I'm Hard. 'al Dente', You Could Say.

Remember To Never Answer A Phone During Sex, Even If You Hilariously Answer With 'i Can't Talk Now, I'm Going Into A Tunnel'.