I Don't Mind Being 65,

I Don't Mind Being 65, But Nobody Is Gonna Tell Me To Come In At 5:30 To Have The Early Bird Special.

Eating Takes A Special Talent. Some People Are Much Better At It Than Others. In That Way, It Is Like Sex, And As With Sex, It's More Fun With Someone Who Really Likes It. I Can't Imagine Having A Lasting Friendship With Anyone Who Is Not Interested In Food.

I Made It, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I Didn't Have To Practice.

If You Stop And Think About It, Nearly All Great Humor Is At The Expense Of Someone Or Something.

You Do Live Longer With Bran, But You Spend The Last Fifteen Years On The Toilet.