I'm At An Age When

My Body's In Such Bad Shape I Wear Prescription Underwear.

This Woman Was So Cross-eyed. She Can Go To A Tennis Match And Never Move Her Head.

My Husband Is So Cheap. On Christmas Eve, He Fires One Shot And Tells The Kids Santa Committed Suicide.

You Know You're Old When Your Walker Has An Airbag.

Most Children Threaten At Times To Run Away From Home. This Is The Only Thing That Keeps Some Parents Going.