I'm Such A Fangirl When

Maybe I've Moved To The Dark Side, But It's Clean And Nice And We Never Run Out Of Toilet Paper.

You Know What It Was Like? It Was Like Thinking I Was Heading To A Surprise Party And Instead It Was A Surprise Pap Smear.

You Can't All Of A Sudden Go To Sleep One Night And Wake Up Martha Stewart. It's Bit By Bit By Bit.

When I Hug Her, I Notice She's Still Wearing Yesterday's False Eyelashes. Mom? You Know Those Come Off With A Little Makeup Remover And A Cotton Pad?" I'm Not Taking Them Off." Why Not?" I Spent $180 On That Makeup Job And I Refuse To Wash My Face Until I Get My Money's Worth.

I Never Sleep On The Plane. I Have To Be Awake And Using My Mind Power To Keep It In The Air