You Know What It Was

I Still Believe In The Holy Trinity, Except Now It's Target, Trader Joe's, And Ikea.

In Real Life, I Tend To Yell At People A Lot. Not Because I'm Bossy Or Mean, But Because I'm Frustrated.

Owning A Dog Is Slightly Less Expensive Than Being Addicted To Crack.

I'm A Humor Writer, So I Don't Always Present Myself In The Best Light.

Amen,' I Exclaim, Accidentally Spitting Out A Raisinet. I Pick Up The Chocolate With A Kleenex And Stuff It In My Purse. Ten Bucks Says A Month From Now I'll Have Forgotten About It And Will Finally Have Said Heart Attack When I Assume A Rat Shat In There.