I Miss My Mattress When

There Are Very Few Humorists Who Have Written First-rate Humor After They've Become Elderly.

Adolescence Isn't A Period; It's A Coma.

Shakespeare, Who Never Could Think Up A Plot By Himself, Found This One [macbeth] In Holinshed's Chronicles, Changing It Just Enough So That No One Would Recognize The Source. He Didn't Count On The Resourcefulness Of Modern Scholars, Who Have To Discover Things Like This To Become Associate Professors.

Politics, It Seems To Me, For Years, Or All Too Long, Has Been Concerned With Right Or Left Instead Of Right Or Wrong.

My Day-old Son Is Plenty Scrawny, His Mouth Is Wide With Screams, Or Yawny; His Ears Seem Larger Than He's Needing, His Nose Is Flat, His Chin's Receding. His Skin Is Very, Very Red, He Has No Hair Upon His Head, And Yet I'm Proud As Proud Can Be, To Hear You Say He Looks Like Me.