I Never Leave A Dog

If You Lie To A Person At Least Tell Someone Else You've Lied To The Truth. It Balances Out Your Karma.

You Know Your Girls Up To No Good When Her And Her Friends Make A Pact To Post Nothing On Instagram.

I'm Bringing Back The Skinny Tie But Wearing It Tied Around My Balls.

I Can Do More Than Just Stand-up Comedy, And The Only Way I'll Be Able To Show That Is If I Do It Myself. Because Nobody Trusts That I Can Do It.

Start Each Day Out The Holy Way..with Christ Chex, It's A Miracle In A Bowl. Just Open The Box And You Hear Ahhhhh....and Then A Lil' Angel Flies Out And Says 'good Morning, Life Is Beautiful!'.