I Remember Performing On A

Truth Is Available To The Ears That Can Hear It.

My Daughter Made Me A Jerry Springer-watching Kit, With Crackers, Cheez Whiz, Polyester Stretch Pants And A T-shirt With Two Fat Women Fighting Over A Skinny Guy.

Imitation Is The Sincerest Form Of Show Business.

You Know What, When I Was Thin, I Thought There Was A Fat Girl Trying To Get Out Of Me.

I Quit Smoking. I Feel Better. I Smell Better. And It's Safer To Drink Out Of Old Beer Cans Laying Around The House.