I Spilled Some Vodka On

I'm Sick Of Following My Dreams. I'm Just Going To Ask Them Where They're Goin', And Hook Up With Them Later.

This One Commercial Said, "forget Everything You Know About Slipcovers." So I Did, And It Was A Load Off Of My Mind. Then The Commercial Tried To Sell Slipcovers, But I Didn't Know What They Were!

A Friend Gave Me A Drug For Attention Deficit Disorder, Because He's Afflicted, But I'm Not. So What Happened To Me Is I Suddenly Had An Extra-long Attention Span. People Would Tell Me A Story, And It Would End, And I'd Get All Mad. "come On, Man, There Has To Be More To That Story."

When I Get A Cold Sore, I Put Carmex On It, Because Carmex Is Supposed To Alleviate Cold Sores. I Don't Know If It Does Help, But It Will Make Them More Shiny And Noticeable. It's Like Cold-sore-highlighter. Maybe They Could Come Up With An Arrow That Heals Cold Sores.

Mitch's Pizzaria... This Week's Coupon: Unlimited Free Pizza. Special Note: Coupon Not Good At Any Of The Mitch's Pizza Locations. Free Pizza Oven With Purchase Of A Small Coke. Two-for Tuesday: Buy One Pizza, Get One Franchise Free.