I Tell People That I've

Well, As You Know, I'm Really Only Happy When I'm On Stage.

I Still Think Of That Guy I Was Without A Wife Or Kids, And I Still Want To Entertain That Guy. The Lonely Guy, The Frustrated Guy, The Guy With No Money - This Is The Guy Who Needs To Laugh.

If I Tried To Flirt With A Woman And She Didn't Know Who I Was, She Would Run Away.

I Couldn't Be Happier That President Bush Has Stood Up For Having Served In The National Guard, Because I Can Finally Put An End To All Those Who Questioned My Motives For Enlisting In The Army Reserve At The Height Of The Vietnam War.

The Only Change I Can Really See Is That I Don't Have To Shop For Pants In Stores Anymore.