I Think Fur Looks Better

I Was In A Bar The Other Night, Hopping From Barstool To Barstool, Trying To Get Lucky, But There Wasn't Any Gum Under Any Of Them.

I'm Totally Normal In Every Respect, But I Have This One Quirk - I Can't Give Out A Number Without Laughing. It's A Problem When I'm Giving My Credit Card Number Over The Phone Because They Always Think: 'he Must Have Just Stolen It.'

They Have A Sign At The Beach, "no Glass Bottles". I Think That's So The Other Sand Particles Don't Feel Like Underachievers.

I've Always Thought The Best Way To Teach A Kid Not To Be Scared Of The Dark Is To Fill His Daylight Hours With As Much Horror As Possible.

Some Mornings, It's Just Not Worth Chewing Through The Leather Straps.