I Told My Dentist My

I Went To A Fight The Other Night, And A Hockey Game Broke Out.

I Was Making Love To This Girl And She Started Crying. I Said, "are You Going To Hate Yourself In The Morning?" She Said, "no, I Hate Myself Now."

A Homeless Guy Came Up To Me On The Street, Said He Hadn't Eaten In Four Days. I Told Him, "man, I Wish I Had Your Willpower.

My Sex Life Is Terrible; My Wife Put A Mirror Over The Dog's Bed. Actually She Did Put A Mirror Over Our Bed. She Says She Likes To Watch Herself Laugh.

When I Was Born I Brought No Joy, My Father Said He Wanted A Boy!