I Told My Doctor I

I Know I'm Not Sexy. In High School I Was Voted Most Likely To Masturbate.

Once I Opened Up A Fortune Cookie And Inside Was The Guy's Cheque Next To Me I Said Hey Buddy I Got Your Cheque He Said Thanks.

I Live In A Tough Neighborhood. They Got A Children's Zoo. Last Week, Four Kids Escaped.

If It Wasn't For Pick-pockets I'd Have No Sex Life At All.

At Christmas Time We Couldn't Afford Tinsel, So We'd Wait Till Grandpa Sneezed.