I Tried Body Surfing Once,

Isn't This A Wonderful Country? I Was In Florida. I'm Staying At A Motel Called The Three Palms. It's Run By A Middle-aged Couple, One Of Whom Is Missing A Hand. Ok! That's What I Thought, Too! But They Got Upset When I Asked.

I've Learned That You Can't Make Someone Love You. All You Can Do Is Stalk Them And Hope They'll Panic And Give In.

When I Was A Kid, My Goodness, Corporate America Was A Bunch Of Stolid White Guys In Gray Suits Trying To Be Serious, And Now It's Stolid White Guys In Gray Suits Trying To Be Funny.

I Was At A Bar Nursing A Beer. My Nipple Was Getting Quite Soggy.

I Like To Play Chess With Bald Men In The Park Although It's Hard To Find 32 Of Them.