I've Learned That You Can't

If An Asteroid Is Coming Toward You, You Don't Have To Blow It Up. You Just Have To Slow It Down Long Enough For Our Country To Rotate Out Of The Way.

I Had A Very Close Relationship With Another Kid When I Was Growing Up. I Was His Imaginary Friend.

I Caught My Wife In Bed With Another Man And I Was Crushed. So I Said, "get Off Of Me, You Two!"

I Don't Know If I Was Put On This Earth For A Purpose Or Not. But I'm Fairly Confident That I'll Be Taken Off Of It For One.

I Caught My Wife In Bed With My Best Friend The Other Day. I Was Crushed. They Could Have Waited Till I'd Got Out.