I Was At Michael Jackson's

We Treat Racism In This Country Like It's A Style That America Went Through. Like Flared Legs And Lava Lamps. Oh, That Crazy Thing We Did. We Were Hanging Black People. We Treat It Like A Fad Instead Of A Disease That Eradicates Millions Of People. You've Got To Get It At A Lab, And Study It, And See Its Origins, And See What It's Immune To And What Breaks It Down.

If A Kid Calls His Grandma "mommy" And His Mama "pam", He's Going To Jail!

Are They Real Fires? Or Are People Just Reacting To Something? Just Because There’s An Alarm Going Doesn’t Mean It’s A Fire. And I Think That People Are Confusing The Two. It’s Only A Fire When It Offends The Fans, And The Fans Turn On You. Tosh Has Fans, And They Get The Joke. If You’ve Watched Enough Tracy Morgan, You Let The Worst Thing Go By. When Did Tracy Morgan Become Walter Cronkite? You Have To Mean Something To Me To Offend Me. You Can’t Break Up With Me If We Don’t Date.

If You're The President You Only Have Two Jobs: Peace And Money.

Emotional Affairs, Those Are The Only Real Affairs; Those Are The Real Ones.