If Pigs Had Wings, They

The Funniest Thing A Comedian Can Do Is Not Do It.

I Have A Poor Memory For Names; But I Seldom Remember A Face.

It Is Funnier To Bend Things Than To Break Them.

All The Men In My Family Were Bearded, And Most Of The Women.

I Only Drink To Steady My Nerves... Sometimes I'm So Steady I Don't Move For Months.