I'm Eighteen Years Behind In

Never Go To Bed Angry, Stay Up And Fight.

By Far The Most Common Craving Of Pregnant Women Is Not To Be Pregnant.

I Hate Smart Sales Clerks. I Said To One, What Do You Have In Lingerie? She Says, More Than You'll Ever Have!

The Only Time I Ever Enjoyed Ironing Was The Day I Accidentally Got Gin In The Steam Iron.

You've Got To Realize That When All Goes Well, And Everything Is Beautiful, You Have No Comedy. It's When Somebody Steps On The Bride's Train, Or Belches During The Ceremony That You've Got Comedy!