It's Morally Wrong To Allow

I'm Looking For Loopholes.

So Long As The Presence Of Death Lurks With Anyone Who Goes Through The Simple Act Of Swallowing, I Will Make Mine Whiskey.

I Never Smoked A Cigar In My Life Until I Was Nine

Some Things Are Better Than Sex, And Some Are Worse, But There's Nothing Exactly Like It.

Christmas At My House Is Always At Least Six Or Seven Times More Pleasant Than Anywhere Else. We Start Drinking Early. And While Everyone Else Is Seeing Only One Santa Claus, We'll Be Seeing Six Or Seven.