Last Year My Wife Ran

My Mother-in-law Has Come Round To Our House At Christmas Seven Years Running. This Year We're Having A Change. We're Going To Let Her In.

I Need To Give Affection And Love, Because Without That, I Wither. I Need To Give That Love To Someone. Without That, I'm Rudderless.

I'm The Most Unromantic Lump Of Northern Suet. Yes, A Woman Did Accost Me Once In South Shields, But She Had A Face Like Red Rum.

Last Year My Wife Ran Off With The Fellow Next Door And I Must Admit, I Still Miss Him.

My Wife Is A Sex Object - Every Time I Ask For Sex, She Objects.