My Golf Game Is Getting

I Tell Ya, I Was An Ugly Kid. I Was So Ugly That My Dad Kept The Kid's Picture That Came With The Wallet He Bought.

We Lived In A Neighborhood That Was Too Rich For Us. When I Was Young, I Had To Deliver Groceries To The Homes Of The Kids I Went To School With. I Had To Go To The Back Doors To Make The Deliveries. It Was Embarrassing. That Was One Thing Out Of A Hundred.

I'll Tell You One Thing, I Know How To Satisfy My Wife In Bed, Yeah, I Leave.

I Told My Doctor I Got Water On My Knee, He Gave Me A Sponge And Raised His Fee!

I Haven't Spoken To My Wife In Years. I Didn't Want To Interrupt Her.