I Told My Doctor I

I Had Plenty Of Pimples As A Kid. One Day I Fell Asleep In The Library. When I Woke Up, A Blind Man Was Reading My Face.

My Cousins Gay, He Went To London Only To Find Out That Big Ben Was A Clock.

On Halloween, The Parents Sent Their Kids Out Looking Like Me.

My Wifes Cooking Is So Bad The Flys Fix Our Screens

I Knew A Girl So Ugly, I Took Her To The Top Of The Empire State Building And Planes Started To Attack Her.