On Halloween, The Parents Sent

When I Was Born The Doctor Took One Look At My Face, Turned Me Over And Said, "look, Twins!"

My Problem Is That I Appeal To Everyone That Can Do Me Absolutely No Good.

When I Was Kidnapped As A Child My Parents Sent A Letter To The Hijackers Me Pay 5,000 Dollars Or Your Back

With Girls I Get No Respect. A Belly Dancer Told Me I Turned Her Stomach.

My Sex Life Is Terrible; My Wife Put A Mirror Over The Dog's Bed. Actually She Did Put A Mirror Over Our Bed. She Says She Likes To Watch Herself Laugh.