My Hometown Was So Dull

We Are Living In The Machine Age. For The First Time In History The Comedian Has Been Compelled To Supply Himself With Jokes And Comedy Material To Compete With The Machine. Whether He Knows It Or Not, The Comedian Is On A Treadmill To Oblivion.

The S.s. Sierra Was A Ten-thousand-ton Vessel. Today, Lifeboats Bigger Than The Sierra Are Found On The Queen Mary And Other Luxury Liners.

After Quitting Radio I Was Able To Live On The Money I Saved On Aspirins.

A Committee Is A Group Of The Unprepared, Appointed By The Unwilling To Do The Unnecessary.

Radio Is Called A Medium Because It Is Rare That Anything Is Well Done.