My Mom Was A Ventriloquist

I Found Out Why Cats Drink Out Of The Toilet. My Mother Told Me It's Because The Water Is Cold In There. And I'm Like: How Did My Mother Know That?

I've Been On So Many Blind Dates, I Should Get A Free Dog.

My Mother Always Said Don't Marry For Money, Divorce For Money.

In Addition To Comedy, I'm A Writer. I Write Checks. They're Not Very Good.

Is There A Doctor In The House? My Parents Want Me To Marry You.