My Mother Kept The House

I Don't Mind Being 65, But Nobody Is Gonna Tell Me To Come In At 5:30 To Have The Early Bird Special.

Let's Face It: It's Difficult Enough To Be Funny Without Worrying About What Is Going To Offend Whom.

One Thing I've Never Said In My Whole Life Is, 'let's Have Dinner At A Japanese Restaurant.'

I'm Only... I'm Only Unhappy When The Reviews Are Bad, But Give Me A Good Review And I'm A... I'm Just Screaming All Over The Place With Joy.

Milton Took Vaudeville, Which, If You Look Up 'vaudeville' In The Dictionary, Right Alongside Of It, It Says 'milton Berle' - And He Made It Just A Tremendous Party.