My Parents Were Very Protective.

Lord Please Break The Laws Of The Universe For My Convenience. Amen.

My Sister Gained 80 Pounds Expecting Her Baby. Well, You Get Nervous, Waiting For Those Adoption Papers To Clear.

I Was Walking Home One Night And A Guy Hammering On A Roof Called Me A Paranoid Little Weirdo. In Morse Code.

A Friend Of Mine Gave Me A Philip Glass Record. I Listened To It For Five Hours Before I Realized It Had A Scratch On It.

I Love England. In Fact, They're Getting To Know Me So Well At Heathrow Immigration That This Time I Was Able To Completely Bypass The Six Months Rabies Quarantine.