My Wife Can't Figure Out

The Company Accountant Is Shy And Retiring. He's Shy A Quarter Of A Million Dollars. That's Why He's Retiring.

She Was Nice To Him On Valentine's Day. She Gave Him A Heart-shaped Rash.

This Is How It Is Today: The Teachers Are Afraid Of The Principals. The Principals Are Afraid Of The Superintendents. The Superintendents Are Afraid Of The Board Of Education. The Board Is Afraid Of The Parents. The Parents Are Afraid Of The Children. The Children Are Afraid Of Nothing!

At The Christmas Party, The Secretary With The Long Red Hair Ate Three Pickles, And Four Salesmen Panicked.

Folk Who Don't Know Why America Is The Land Of Promise Should Be Here During An Election Campaign.