Nothing Is More Vintage Than

I Began My Day As I Often Begin My Days, By Checking Donald Trump's Twitter Feed To See How Far The Crazy Has Spread. And Today, I Really Think He's Off His Meds, Because Today He Went From Crazy To Cruel.

The Cost Of Living Keeps Going Up, Although Death Is Surprisingly Affordable.

First, [in High School], I Smoked A Lot Of Pot...and That's How I Got To Know The People 'half In' The Society Of My High School And We Waved At Each Other Over The Bong. Then I Got To Know People By Making Jokes.

An Apple A Day Keeps Anyone Away, If You Throw It Hard Enough.

I'm A Satirist, So I've Got Boxing Gloves On If The Person Is Worthy Of Satire. But I'm Not An Assassin.