The First Time I Played

The First Time I Played The Masters, I Was So Nervous I Drank A Bottle Of Rum Before I Teed Off. I Shot The Happiest 83 Of My Life.

After All These Years, It's Still Embarrassing For Me To Play On The American Golf Tour. Like The Time I Asked My Caddie For A Sand Wedge And He Came Back Ten Minutes Later With A Ham On Rye.

When A Man Retires, His Wife Gets Twice The Husband But Only Half The Income.

I Read The Greens In Spanish, But I Putt In English.

I Was On The Dance Floor But I Couldn't Hear The Band.