The Way Prices Are Rising,

I Used To Sell Furniture For A Living. The Trouble Was, It Was My Own.

I Went To My Doctor And Asked For Something For Persistent Wind. He Gave Me A Kite.

With Wives, Men Hide Behind The Air Of Bravado, Which Is Basically A Defence Mechanism, I Think. Clever Creatures, Women. Very Clever.

I Don't Mind What The Critics Say, So Long As I Get Some Reaction. The Worst Thing Is To Be Ignored.

I'm The Most Unromantic Lump Of Northern Suet. Yes, A Woman Did Accost Me Once In South Shields, But She Had A Face Like Red Rum.