They've Finally Come Up With

You're Aging When Your Actions Creak Louder Than Your Words.

You Look Like A Normal Person, If You Can Find A Normal Person Who Wants To Look Like That.

A Man Falls Down A Flight Of Stairs And Somebody Rushes Over To Him And Asks, Did You Miss A Step? No, He Answers, I Hit Every One Of Them!

It's Rough To Go Through Life With Your Contents Looking As If They Settled During Shipping.

Anytime A Person Goes Into A Delicatessen And Orders A Pastrami On White Bread, Somewhere A Jew Dies.