When I Can't Sleep, I

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I'm Schizophrenic, And So Am I.

I Could Never Have A Mistress, Because I Couldn't Bear To Tell The Story Of My Life All Over Again.

Now That Marilyn Monroe Is Kosher, Arthur Miller Can Eat Her.

When I Can't Sleep, I Read A Book By Steve Allen.

An Epigram Is Only A Wisecrack That's Played At Carnegie Hall.