When You Get Over 95,

Your Ignorance Cramps My Conversation

I Don't Know If The Presidential Candidates Are Running For The White House Or Animal House.

With Today's Movies, If We Took Out All The Bad Language, We'd Go Back To Silent Films.

In England When You Make A Movie Even The Weather Is Against You. In Hollywood The Weatherman Gets A Shooting Schedule From All The Major Studios And Then Figures Out Where He Can Fit In A Little Rain Without Upsetting Metro-goldwyn-mayer Too Much.

My Secret For Staying Young Is Good Food, Plenty Of Rest, And A Makeup Man With A Spray Gun.