With This Face, I Need

A Man Can Sleep Around, No Questions Asked, But If A Woman Makes Nineteen Or Twenty Mistakes She's A Tramp.

The Fashion Magazines Are Suggesting That Women Wear Clothes That Are 'age Appropriate.' For Me That Would Be A Shroud.

My Body Is A Temple, And My Temple Needs Redecorating.

I'm So Fat And I'm So Depressed; Last Night I Tried To Hang Myself - But The Rope Broke.

I'm Sure Some Of You Are Wondering Whether My Breasts Are Real. Let Me Just Explain To You. This One Is, This One Isn't.