You Might Be A Redneck

You Might Be A Redneck If You Think Silence Of The Lambs Is What Happens When Larry Walks Out To The Barn.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Good Deed For The Month Was Hiding Your Brother For A Few Days.

You Might Be A Redneck If The Best Way To Keep Things Cold Is To Leave'em In The Shade.

Whatever Cleaning Goes On On The Planet, Women Do 99% Of It. But See, Women Are Not As Proud Of Their 99% As Men Are Of Our One! We Clean Something Up, We're Gonna Talk About It All Year Long. It Might Be On The News, You Don't Know. A Woman Could Be Out Re-paving The Driveway. Men Actually Have Enough Gall To Run Out On The Porch And Go "hey Baby? Man, It's Hot As Hell Out Here, Ain't It! Look, Don't Worry About Emptyin' That Ashtray In The Den, I Done Got It, All Right? Did It For You, Sweet Pea. I'm Gonna Go Take A Nap Now, All Right?"

A Lot Of People Up North, They Think Everybody From The South Is Married To Their Sister And Has Seen A Ufo. I Told Them, 'i'm Just Dating My Sister And Couldn't Swear That It Wasn't A Weather Balloon.'