I Gave My Wife A

I'd Rather Be A Could-be If I Cannot Be An Are; Because A Could-be Is A Maybe Who Is Reaching For A Star. I'd Rather Be A Has-been Than A Might-have-been, By Far; For A Might Have-been Has Never Been, But A Has Was Once An Are.

Experience Is What You Have After You've Forgotten Her Name.

An Adult Western Is Where The Hero Still Kisses His Horse At The End, Only Now He Worries About It.

I Never Stole A Joke In My Life. I Just Find Them Before They're Lost.

I Bought My Mother-in-law A Beautiful Chair For Christmas, But She Won't Let Me Plug It In.