I Would Read Playboy More

It's No Surprise That Things Are So Screwed Up: Everyone That Knows How To Run A Government Is Either Driving Taxicabs Or Cutting Hair.

I Would Read Playboy More Often, But My Glasses Keep Steaming Up.

How Can I Die? I'm Booked.

Critics Are Eunuchs At A Gang Bang.

I Get Up Every Morning And Read The Obituary Column. If My Name's Not There, I Eat Breakfast.