I Yearn To Be A

I Still Believe In The Holy Trinity, Except Now It's Target, Trader Joe's, And Ikea.

I've Always Been Able To Cook Italian Food. That's In My Blood Because I'm Half Sicilian.

I Can't Believe Anyone Would Voluntarily Run 26 Miles. Sometimes I Sit On The Couch Cross-legged Because I Don't Feel Like Walking To The Bathroom.

Fortunately, All It Takes For Us To Be Of One Mind Is Some Buttercream Frosting.

Although I Get A Lot Of Specialty Services Like Wraps, Scrubs, And Mustache Removal, My Favorite Is The Simple Manicure/pedicure. They Work On Your Hands And Feet At The Same Time While You Sit In A Vibrating Chair. I Call It The Sorority Girls Version Of A Threesome.