My Wife Can't Cook At

The Shape I'm In, I Could Donate My Body To Science Fiction.

My Problem Is That I Appeal To Everyone That Can Do Me Absolutely No Good.

You Live With Life's Disappointments And Learn From Them. At Seventy-eight, I Know It All.

I Haven't Spoken To My Wife In Years. I Didn't Want To Interrupt Her.

I Tell Ya, I Was An Ugly Kid. I Was So Ugly That My Dad Kept The Kid's Picture That Came With The Wallet He Bought.