The Scots Are A Very

When I Was A Kid, My Nickname Was Mr. Baseball. Because Of The Stitches.

I Don't Know If I Was Put On This Earth For A Purpose Or Not. But I'm Fairly Confident That I'll Be Taken Off Of It For One.

I'll Do Anything For My Wife, It's Turning Out.

Writing Jokes For Others Is Like Having Babies For Someone Else. It's Sad. Like The Woman Who Gives Up Her Baby But Needs To Be Close So She Secretly Becomes The Maid In The Household.

People Always Ask Me, 'where Were You When Kennedy Was Shot?' Well, I Don't Have An Alibi.